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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26686351">I See Your Pain</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/predatoryPidgeon/pseuds/predatoryPidgeon'>predatoryPidgeon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek &amp; Paul/Levenson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Depression, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Galaxy Gals, M/M, Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:48:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,691</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26686351</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/predatoryPidgeon/pseuds/predatoryPidgeon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Evan Hansen never really believed that he had a soulmate, at least, not until he woke up on the first day of school.</p>
<p>Connor Murphy's life sucks, he's not the sort of person anyone would fall in love with, he feels like everyone else has a soulmate but him. That is, until Evan Hansen comes to school with a bandage on his wrist.</p>
<p>Soulmates treebros au! Anything that your soulmate does to their skin, shows up on u!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alana Beck/Zoe Murphy, Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>143</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Intro (really short, sorry!)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I have zero experience with anxiety or depression so feedback of any sort is greatly appreciated!</p>
<p>Update schedule is below.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Evan never really believed he had a soulmate. Not everyone does, his mother didn't, but the majority of people did. Some kids at school already had soulmates. When you turn 18, you start to show signs of having a soulmate. It usually starts with temporary things, scratches, doodles on arms, things like that. The only way to tell someone is your soulmate is that when they do something to their skin, it shows up on yours too. After about a week, cuts show up on your skin too, they never stay though. Evan firmly believes that he doesn't have a soulmate, after all, who would love someone like him? He is an anxious wreck, his dad left when he was seven, and his only friend is an asshole. Who could love someone like him?<br/>
-<br/>
Connor Murphy has always wanted to have a soulmate, but deep down he knows he never will have one, hes never been the sort of person to fall in love with. And he's always thought that whoever his soulmate was, they probably would just change their mind about him as soon as they meet. He's not the loveable type,  he had severe depression and he has anger issues. He hasn't had a friend since kindergarten. He threw a printer at his elementary school teacher once. Who would love a dick like him?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Things aren't so bad, are they?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Evan makes a discovery</p>
<p>Warning: Mention of self-harm</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Evan wakes up to a burning sensation in his wrist, he sits upright and looks at his wrist, he's bleeding. He runs to the bathroom and locks the door behind him. He grabs a wad of toilet paper and holds it to his wrist, soaking it through. He hears a knock at the door, and a light voice asks <br/>"You okay, honey?" he throws the wad of paper into the toilet and answers <br/>"Yeah, I'm fine mom." He hears a soft sigh on the other side of the door, she doesn't believe him. He stands up and grabs an ace wrap from the cabinet behind the mirror.<br/> He walks out of the bathroom, hoping to get to his room before his mom gets back upstairs when he looks to his left. He jumps backwards and holds a hand to his wrist to hide it. Heidi holds her hands to her hips, betraying the soft look on her face, a mix between worry and sadness <br/>"what's wrong honey?" <br/>He sighs <br/>"nothing, nothing's wrong." <br/>She puts on a more stern face <br/>"I know something's wrong, it's better to talk about it." <br/>He sighs, holding his hand behind his back <br/>"I'm just tired, I didn't get much sleep last night. First day back at school and all." <br/>She nods, not fully convinced, but it gives him an opening to run to his room. He shuts the door behind him and slides to the floor. Holding his wrist tightly 'Why am I bleeding? I didn't do this.' He looks down at his wrist, wrapped in a bandage that's haphazardly secured using the sharp metal thing 'what if, no, I don't have a soulmate, do I?' He stands up and grabs a jacket from his closet, and wonders why he doesn't wear it more, as he struggles to pull it over his cast, he remembers why. Today's going to be a long day.<br/>-<br/>'Welcome to your last day on earth.' Connor thinks as he sits down at the table. He looks at the box of cereal in front of him, it's not even good cereal. He pours it into a bowl and dumps what's left in the milk jug over it. His mother walks into the dining room and makes a face <br/>"Connor, were you smoking? You're not going to school high."<br/>He leans back in his chair <br/>"Perfect, I'm not going."<br/> Cynthia gives him a withering look. Zoe drops her spoon into her bowl with a clatter.<br/>"Connor finished the milk."<br/>Cynthia shakes her head, exasperated. Connor stands up and goes into his room, sitting down on his bed. He doesn't have a door, not since he tried to kill himself last year. He opens his bedside drawer and pulls out an altoids tin, it's full of pills. He's going to kill himself after tonight. He's a burden and he knows that no one would care if he was gone anyway. And he won't have to deal with all of this if he was dead. He pours out the pills onto the drawer. He starts counting, he knows how many there are, he knows that it's enough to kill him before his parents, or worse, Zoe, find him. He dumps them back into the tin. He just needs to get through the school day, then he's done.<br/>-<br/>Evan walks down the hallway with a sense of purpose, to get to his locker. Fumbling with his lock, Jared grabs his shoulder. Evan jumps and whips around. <br/>"Oh, it's you."<br/>"What happened to your arm?"<br/>Evan rolls up his sleeve and looks at the blank white cast on his arm.<br/>"I fell out of a tree."<br/>"What are you, an acorn?" Jared leers, suddenly his attention is caught by someone in the hallway. He turns around to face a tall boy with dark brown hair. <br/>"Nice haircut, Murphy, very school shooter chic."<br/>The taller boy stops in his tracks and turns around to face Jared. Jared makes a face.<br/>"Jeez, it was a joke, calm down."<br/>"It's funny, can't you tell I'm laughing? Am I not laughing enough for you, Kleinman?"<br/>Jared laughs, Evan laughs nervously, wanting to leave. Connor turns to Evan<br/>"Are you laughing? You think I'm a freak?"<br/>He accuses, Evan's eyes widen<br/>"No, I'm, uh, it's not-"<br/> He's cut off by the taller boy pushing him by the shoulders, he stumbles and falls, wincing when his arm hits the ground. He looks up at Connor in terror.<br/>"Well, you're the freak! You're a fucking freak!" <br/>He storms away, leaving a shocked Evan behind. A girl runs to him, kneeling on the ground, she helps him up.<br/>"I'm sorry about my brother, he's kind of a dick. What's your name? I'm Zoe."<br/>"Zoe."<br/>"What?"<br/>"Sorry, uh, I'm Evan, I was just saying that cause you, nevermind."<br/>"It's fine, just tell me if he's being a dick again."<br/>He nods and Zoe leaves, he looks behind him to see that Jared is long gone. No surprise there. That was the first time someone other than Jared talked to him willingly.<br/>-<br/>Connor walks into the computer lab after school and sees Evan at the printer. 'Shit' he walks up to him awkwardly. He kind of feels bad, he didn't notice before that the poor kid had a cast on. He also has a bandage...right were Connor cut himself this morning? <br/>"Hey, uh, I'm Connor, and I'm sorry for earlier. That was dick move."<br/>Evan looks shocked, he clears his throat<br/>"Um, I'm Evan, and you, uh, probably already knew that sorry." <br/>Connor chuckled<br/>"What are you sorry for?"<br/>Evan hangs his mouth open, kind of a fish. Connor breaks the silence, by pointing to his cast.<br/>"What'd you do to your arm?"<br/>"I uh fell out of a tree."<br/>"That's pretty fuckin pathetic if you ask me, wait, shit, that's rude, sorry."<br/>Evan laughs, kind of a giggle more than a laugh. <br/>"It is pathetic, don't worry."<br/>"Can I sign it?"<br/>"What?"<br/>"Can I sign your cast?"<br/>"Oh, right, sorry yeah you can"<br/>"Cool."<br/>Evan fumbles around in his bag for a sharpie and hands one to Connor, it's purple, 'good choice' he thinks. He writes his name in a big script on the cast, someone has to make use of that space. He puts the cap back on the marker and hands it back to Evan.<br/>"Can I have your phone number?"<br/>"Oh, uh, sure. Do you have any paper?"<br/>"Nah, you can just write it on my arm."<br/>Connor rolls up his sleeve, exposing his forearm. Evan notices that there's a cut on his wrist around the same area that Evan's cut was. He scribbled his phone number on the back of Connor's arm. And shoves the marker back in his bag. He half-smiles at Connor.<br/>"See you tomorrow?"<br/>"Yeah, see you tomorrow."<br/>Connor does a salute and Evan laughs. Maybe he won't do it tonight.<br/>-<br/>When Evan gets home he takes off the ace wrap and throws it back in the cabinet that he got it from. He looks down at the cut on his arm and notices a bit of purple on the top of his arm, and turns his arm over. It's his phone number. <br/>Things are about to get more complicated.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! It would be a massive help if you could give feedback!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Dinner at the Murphy's</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I love writing the first dinner at Connor's house. This one has no yelling tho bc it makes me sad lol</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dinner at the Murphy's is kind of a hit or miss situation. Either you get lucky and Larry won't talk, or you don't and it ends up in a screaming match again. Today was the first one, thankfully. As soon as Connor sat down his mother smiled, like she knew something.<br/>"How was school today, Connor?" <br/>He shrugged.<br/>"Good, I guess."<br/>"Did you make any new friends?"<br/>"I signed this kid's cast, and I got his number."<br/>His mother looked shocked, she asked the question and didn't expect an answer? Shock soon left her face and a smile took its place once again.<br/>"What's his name?"<br/>"Evan,"<br/>Zoe's head snapped up and she stared at Connor. He ignored her. Cynthia put her hands together.<br/>"He sounds like a nice boy, you should invite him to dinner tomorrow."<br/>Connor sighs, he doesn't even know if they're friend friends. Evan probably doesn't even like him. He shrugs.<br/>"Maybe? I don't know."<br/>Cynthia seems satisfied with the answer, she leans back in her chair and refrains from asking any further questions. Connor is thankful for that.<br/>-<br/>Evan didn't notice how much time had passed until he heard the lunch bell ring throughout the hallway. He rushed out of his classroom in a hurry to get to the bathroom. His history teacher wanted him to stand up and tell the class about himself, most of it was inaudible. Some kid yelled from the back of the classroom "Speak up!" That was the breaking point. He ran out of the classroom and into the bathroom at the end of the hallway. Why did he even have to introduce himself, he's been at school with these people since kindergarten. He's still sitting on the floor in the handicapped stall when someone walks into the bathroom. He frantically wipes his face and tries to compose himself. He walks out of the bathroom and goes straight to his locker, hoping to distract himself from all the people walking behind him. <br/>"Hey, Hansen."<br/>He nearly jumps out of his skin, he turns around slowly, tense. It's Connor, crap, he forgot he gave him his number yesterday, all he thought about last night was the numbers written on his arm in purple sharpie.<br/>"Um, yeah?"<br/>"My mom wants you to come over for dinner tonight? Is that okay?"<br/>Evan hesitates for a second before answering.<br/>"Uh, okay, what time should I come?"<br/>"I can just pick you up, if that's okay? My family doesn't really have a set schedule."<br/>Evan nods, he doesn't drive with anyone other than his mom and Jared, not like he knows anyone else anyway. Connor does a little salute and Evan giggles.<br/>-<br/>For the past half hour Evan has been pacing his room trying to figure out what to wear. He was thinking of wearing a polo shirt but now he's wondering if it would make him look too dressed up. Would it look like he was trying too hard? He decides on a simple blue and white polo shirt. He decides not to put any more bandages on his arm, it might draw attention to it. He scrubbed at the marker on his arm for the better part of half an hour but it didn't really do anything. He hears a knock at the door, running downstairs, he nearly forgets his shoes. Throwing on the closest pair, he opens the door and Connor is standing right there, he grins and looks down.<br/>"Nice shoes."<br/>Evan follows his gaze to his feet, shit. These were two different shoes.<br/>"Oh, yeah, I'll go change them."<br/>"I'll wait for you."<br/>Evan runs back, now with matching shoes.<br/>"Okay, we can go now."<br/>Connor puts his arm out in front of the door.<br/>"Ladies first."<br/>Evan glares at him, but smiles when he gets out of the house. He gets in the car and they drive to the Murphy house. Right before they get inside, Connor turns to Evan.<br/>"Just a warning, my mom is a shit cook. Like, I'm not even kidding."<br/>"Is it really that bad?"<br/>"It is."<br/>"Well then, might as well get it over with."<br/>Connor nods and opens the door. Evan didn't expect Connor's mother to be right at the door, hugging him. He looked pleadingly at Connor, he cracked a smile.<br/>"Mom, what's for dinner?"<br/>Shr immediately lets go of Evan and rushes to the kitchen. Evan smiles.<br/>"Your mom's nice."<br/>"She's glad that I finally have a social life."<br/>Evan nods, suddenly feeling awkward. He follows Connor to the dining room and sits down next to him. Cynthia comes out to the dining room with a casserole dish full of something that was greenish brown and looked only half edible. Evan smiled weakly, he might not be able to eat much of this. Connor is quiet most of the meal, but his mother on the other hand. As soon as the casserole was served to everyone, she started asking questions.<br/>"When did you two meet?"<br/>"How long have you known each other?"<br/>"Is he nice to you?"<br/>Pretty soon this became too much for Evan. Being in the spotlight the entire dinner was too much. He tried his best to politely interrupt.<br/>"Um, excuse me, where is the bathroom?"<br/>"Down the hall, first door to the right."<br/>He calmly stood up and walked down the hallway, wiping his hands on his pants to hide the fact that he was shaking. Connor's parents were very kind, but they were a bit much at the moment. He shuts the bathroom door behind him and sits on the floor. After a  it of sitting on the floor, he hears a knock at the door.<br/>"Come in."<br/>Connor opens the door and sits down next to Evan.<br/>"They're a lot to handle sometimes."<br/>Evan gave him a watery smile.<br/>"Yeah, they're nice, but your mom's a bit overbearing."<br/>Connor laughs.<br/>"Yeah, no kidding. Want to get out of here and go do something fun?"<br/>Evan nods, standing up and wiping his hands on his pants again.<br/>"We can get out in the back, they won't see us then."<br/>"Thanks"<br/>Connor nods and smiles at Evan. This sounds fun.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Apple! Apple! Hey apple!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The bois go to the autumn smile orchard</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Connor parks the car, Evan looks at him. He had been staring at his hands the whole drive, which only lasted about 15 minutes. <br/>"Where are we?"<br/>Connor opens the door and gets out of the car.<br/>"Autumn smile orchard, I used to come here all the time when I was little. Until it closed down."<br/>Evan looks around, noticing how many different kinds of trees there were.<br/>"It's beautiful."</p><p>He was grinning, and Connor wonders how you can miss something when you've only seen it twice. Connor looks around, while Evan is still captivated by all the trees.<br/>"Yeah, it really is. Follow me, I wanna show you something."<br/>Connor starts running and hops over the fence. He continues running until he gets to the middle of the orchard. He flops down on the grass, panting, and Evan sits down next to him. Connor looks up at the sky and smiles, a pleasant feeling growing inside.<br/>"I used to come here all the time with Zoe, well, until it closed. There's this cute little ice cream shop down the road too."<br/>Evan nods, looking up at the tree above him.<br/>"Do you wanna climb it?"<br/>Connor sits up and looks at the tree<br/>"It looks pretty big but I think we can do it."<br/>Evan nods and stands up, he grabs the trunk and starts climbing it with monkeylike agility. Connor struggles to follow.<br/>"I haven't used this much upper body strength since sixth grade!"<br/>Evan laughs and sits on a branch. He suddenly looks down and gasps. Connor looks up, worry etched on his face.<br/>"What's wrong?"<br/>Evan starts to climb back down, only pausing to glance back at Connor. When he reaches the ground, he sits on the grass and starts to wipe his hands on his pants.<br/>"Sorry, I didn’t- I’m sorry."<br/>Connor sits down next to Evan, bringing a stand of his hair behind his ears.<br/>"Why are you sorry ? You have nothing to apologize for."<br/>"It's just, we were having fun, and I ruined it."<br/>"You didn't ruin it, that was a completely fair reaction."<br/>"I, uh, sorry."<br/>"Don't apologize, take deep breaths."<br/>Connor mimes breathing with his hands. Evan takes a couple deep breaths and his breathing starts to even out. He sighs and falls back to lay down on the grass. Connor does the same.</p><p>"You know, when I was little, my family would come here every weekend. We would get some ice cream at that little shop down the road, À La Mode. One time I dropped my ice cream cone and I cried until Zoe gave me hers."<br/>Evan smiles, he seems to have calmed down, he’s shivering too, of course. Connor tosses his sweatshirt at the other boy, who mumbles something that Connor can’t hear, so he just nods.<br/>"I've never been to an ice cream shop before, I don't really get the chance to do that sort of stuff."<br/>Connor sits up and brushes grass out of his hair.<br/>"Then let's go! It's only a little bit of a drive to get there."<br/>"Sure, it's not like there's anything better to do."<br/>Connor grabs Evan's hand and pulls him up to his feet. Connor takes a little bit longer to let go of Evan's hand than he expected. As they start driving down the road, Evan starts to think of how much his life had changed just from nearly two days of knowing Connor. He finally has a friend, Heidi will be overjoyed. Connor pulls into the parking lot and they both climb out of the car. When they get inside Evan is overwhelmed with how many flavors there are.<br/>"What flavor do you want? I can get it for you."<br/>Evan looks up at Connor, feigning thoughtfulness.<br/>"How about cookie dough?"<br/>"Coming right up."<br/>As Connor walks up to the cash register, Evan can't help but think how nice it was of Connor to order for him. It's such a small thing, but it means the world to Evan. It feels good for someone to understand and try and help him. Connor comes back with two ice cream cones. He hands one to Evan and they both find a table to sit down.<br/>"Thanks for ordering for me."<br/>"It's no problem."<br/>Evan smiles and looks down at his ice cream cone.<br/>“Really, you have no idea how much that means to me.”<br/>Connor opens his mouth to respond but he’s interrupted by the woman behind the register. She clears her throat and points at the clock, they close in five minutes. Connor grabs Evan’s hand and walks back to the car with him. Evan can’t shake the feeling that blooms in his chest when Connor grabs his hand for the second time. Time to go home.<br/>-<br/>When they get to Evan’s house, Evan hands Connor his sweatshirt back and walks into his house. He’s glad Evan didn’t say anything about the scars on his wrists and arms. It’s nice to have someone finally treat you like a person and not a problem to be fixed, Evan sees Connor, not mentally unstable Connor, just Connor. He smiles and leans back in his seat for a bit before sitting back up and driving home. Turning up the music as far as it can go.<br/>-<br/>When Evan walks into the living room he is startled by his mother sitting on the couch. She wipes her eyes and turns off the tv.<br/>"Where were you for the past 3 hours, Evan? I was worried sick."<br/>Evan glances at the clock, it's way later than he thought, he must've lost track of time at the orchard with Connor. He starts to pick at the fabric on his cast.<br/>"I’m so sorry, it's just, I-I was having dinner with Connor and his family."<br/>"Who's Connor?"<br/>"Uh, I met him at school, he's really nice."<br/>Heidi looked so proud, she grinned and patted the seat next to her on the couch. <br/>"You can go out at any time, just tell me."<br/>He sits down next to her, now picking at the hem of his shirt.<br/>"Tell me about him, how did you two meet?"<br/>He feels something on his arm,  he looks down and sees a flower show up on his arm in marker. He smiles and looks back up at Heidi, ready to tell her about the one day in his life where he hadn’t felt like a burden.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Parents are overrated</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sad boi hours</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Connor woke up on time for once in his life, his alarm went off on his phone and he got up. As he walks into the kitchen he sees a rare occurrence. His family is sitting at the table. On second thought,  maybe it isn't so rare, he just hardly takes any time to actually talk before getting in the car with Zoe. Also probably because he wakes up so late.<br/>He decides to try and get along for once so he simply sits at the table and says nothing. He’s too exhausted to start a fight with his sister, who is eyeing him suspiciously. <br/>Does she always wear this much eyeliner? Connor wonders. Or maybe this was just the first time he noticed .<br/>He eats quietly, and hurries so that he won’t have to talk, but Cynthia decides to try anyway.<br/>“So Connor, how has your friend Evan been ?” <br/>She is obviously just trying to start a conversation, but Connor decides to respond anyway.<br/>“Good”<br/>Though it wasn’t much, his response seemed to satisfy Cynthia, who was not used to her son even acknowledging her existence. Zoe eyes him suspiciously.<br/>"What demon possessed you to wake up this early?"<br/>Connor looks her dead in the eyes and smiles.<br/>"I felt like waking up early today."<br/>She nodded, still looking questioning. Cynthia pipes up as she butters her toast.<br/>"Well I think it's great! Maybe you could make it a habit, Connor."<br/>Zoe snorted.<br/>"Fat chance."<br/>Cynthia gave her daughter a withering glare, Zoe looks down and starts poking at her eggs with a fork. Connor, hating the silence, stood up and went down to his room. He sits down and picks up his phone, his sleeve slips down for a second and he sees something green on his arm. He rolls up his sleeve to see a tiny tree drawn on his wrist, cute. He hears Zoe call him from upstairs to get in the car, he rolls his sleeve back up and runs up the stairs. He realizes why he never gets up early, there is absolutely nothing to do until he goes to school with Zoe.He simply waits, looking at his arm where Evan had written his phone number. <br/>His arms and wrists are littered with scars. Some fresher than others, some deeper.<br/>Connor realizes that Evan hadn’t even mentioned them the other day.<br/>He smiles a bit, remembering how amazing that day had been.<br/>“CONNOR COME ON WE’RE LEAVING!” screams Zoe, as if he were on the other side of the neighborhood.<br/>He rolls his eyes and walks out of his room.<br/>Cynthia says a quick goodbye whereas Larry just grunts.<br/>Not like Connor was expecting more.<br/>He enters the car and starts driving.<br/>The ride is mostly silent until the end, where Zoe, who had been staring out the window, slowly puts her hand on his arm, as if not to startle him.<br/>Connors eyes dart down to where her hand is, wondering why she would ever touch him.<br/>“Thanks, for driving me y’know.” says Zoe, not quite looking him in the eyes.<br/>“You’re welcome, I guess. Not like I have any choice, anyway.”<br/>Zoe scoffs but still smiles despite it.<br/>"Just take the compliment, jeez."<br/>He nods and the test of the drive to school is in silence.<br/>-<br/>The first time Evan sees Connor today was in English. The brunette walks up behind Evan and taps him on the shoulder. He squeaks and whips around to look at whoever touched him. He instantly relaxes when he sees who it is. Connor smiles at him, a small smile, but a smile nonetheless.<br/>"Hey,"<br/>"Hi?", <br/>Connor sits on the floor next to Evan.<br/>"Do you eat lunch with anyone?"<br/>"Um, no?"<br/>"You wanna go to the sandwich place down the street?"<br/>Evan hesitates for a moment, but when he realizes that he has nothing else to do, he nods.<br/>"I don't have anything better to do, shoot, no , uh sorry that's not what I meant."<br/>Connor lip curves into a small smile.<br/>“I get it, don't worry.” he answers. Evan looks relieved.<br/>“Oh, okay, sorry, uh, yeah.”<br/>He pats his hands against his hands and rocks back and forth on his heels, feeling awkward. <br/>“So are we going now?”<br/>"Yeah, we can walk or drive, whatever you want to do."<br/>"Uh, can we walk? I'm not like, opposed to driving, but it uh, it  makes me kind of nervous."<br/>Connor nods, not prodding any further. As they walk down the street to the sandwich shop, Evan spots a fluffy cat sitting on a stump next to the sidewalk. He grabs Connor's hand and rushes over to the cat. He makes kissing noises to the cat and Connor smiles. As Evan reaches down to pet the cat, Connor notices a spot of green ink on his wrist, a tree. Connor doesn't think much of it then, there are more important things to be thinking of. Evan continues talking to the cat, Connor joins in petting them. Evan looks up and grins at him. Connor never sees his smile, it’s nice, he should smile more. He doesn't say that, though, he knows how irritating it is when Larry says that. He gently smiles back.<br/>-<br/>Evan sits at his desk, looking through the many letters Dr. Sherman urged him to write. He hears a knock at the door. He jumps and drops a handful of papers. He runs downstairs to see who it is, it's not Heidi, she works until tomorrow,and it's not a food delivery person, he never orders anything. He opens the door hesitantly and sees a familiar face.  He relaxes.<br/>"Hey Ev."<br/>Evan’s cheeks redden a bit at the nickname.<br/>"Uh, hi Connor."<br/>"Can I come in?"<br/>"Oh, yeah, of course."<br/>He steps out of the way to let Connor into the living room, he looks miserable. He flops down on the couch, Evan gently sits down next to him.<br/>"What's wrong?"<br/>Connor stares at the ceiling and sighs.<br/>"My dad's a huge dick, we got in a fight and he called me, umm well he- nevermind."<br/>Evan nods, if he doesn't want to talk about it right now, he won't make him.<br/>Connor looks up at Evan from where he is on the couch. His eyes are rimmed with red and his skin looks paler than usual. <br/>For a second he looks like he wants to say something to Evan, but decides against it.<br/>Connor sighs and sits up. <br/>“What do you wanna do ?” he asks.<br/>“Um well do you want to watch a movie or something?” asks Evan, wanting to make Connor feel as welcome as possible.<br/>“Sure ! What do you want to watch ?”<br/>“Anything’s fine”<br/>As Evan turned on the tv, Connor sat back and smiled, he could get used to this.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Spooky scary skeletons~</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>they go to a haunted house and have fun</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading, and happy early Halloween!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s Halloween, and Evan wishes he was 7 again. When he was little, Heidi would go all out for Halloween, he loved it. But now, with her juggling different jobs, she hardly has time for any of that. He sighs, at least it’s a Saturday, he can sleep in. He never does, though. He wakes up at the same time every day, with an alarm or without. He texts Jared to see if he’s awake, probably not. If he had the chance, he would sleep until dinner. He decides to text Connor instead.</p><p>Are you awake?</p><p>yeah do you need something</p><p>No sorry I was just bored.</p><p>its ok what’s up</p><p>Well my mom is gone and idk what to do.</p><p>im going to come over</p><p>Ok !</p><p>Evan smiles ever so slightly at the thought of seeing his friend again.<br/>
He looks around his room, realizing that it’s actually pretty bare, except for a few potted plants here and there.<br/>
He walks over to his desk, looking at a stack of his letters to Dr. Sherman.<br/>
He probably should give those back.<br/>
Evan hears a knock on the door which makes him jump ever so slightly.<br/>
He wasn’t expecting Connor to be that quick !<br/>
He races down the stairs and quickly opens the door.<br/>
As usual, the sight of the taller boy makes him smile.<br/>
Connor seems extremely tired, but just as happy to see his friend.<br/>
“Hi ! I’m so sorry that you had to come, you were probably busy, I shouldn’t have texted you I’m so sorry-”<br/>
Connor interrupts with a chuckle.<br/>
“It’s fine, Ev. I probably would've shown up at some point anyway”<br/>
“Oh, um thanks then? Oh come in! ”</p><p>Connor walks in the house and smiles at the way Evan blushes.<br/>
“So I was thinking, since you were bored, maybe we could go to the haunted house ! ” said Connor, an excited gleam in his eyes. Evan grimaces, but at least it’s better than staying here. He nods, trying to smile. Connor grabs his hand and starts down the sidewalk.<br/>
“Aren’t we gonna take your car?”</p><p>“Nah, it’s more fun this way.”</p><p>Evan looks down to where Connors hand it clutching his. He worries that his hands are sweaty, does Connor think that’s gross? He realizes that Connor hasn't let go of his hand yet, his heart flutters and he looks back up, not saying anything. When they get to the haunted house, Evan stops for a second and drops his hand, Connor looks back at him.<br/>
“What’s wrong?”<br/>
“I’ve, uh, never been to one of these before.”<br/>
“It’ll be fun! They’re never really that scary.”<br/>
Evan nods, still not totally convinced. The two of them wait in line until they get to the front when Connor taps Evan’s shoulder.<br/>
“Couples get in free, you wanna pretend?”<br/>
Evan’s face flushes<br/>
“Uh, okay?”<br/>
When they get to the entrance, Evan looks at the building, it looks like a regular storage building on the outside, but they make a super huge haunted house every year. He hears Connor talking to the man at the ticket booth but he ignores it. He snaps out of his trance when Connor grabs his hand again. They walk inside and Evan instantly runs into a bunch of fake spiderwebs. He squeaks and quickly brushes them off of his face. Connor stifles a laugh and Evan glares at him. They keep walking down the hallway, the lights start flickering and Evan tightens his grip on Connor's hand. A person dressed as a werewolf jumps out of the hallway towards them. Evan screams and grabs Connors arm with both hands. Connor laughs and looks down at Evan.<br/>
“Having fun yet?”<br/>
Evan glares at him.<br/>
“I’ll take that as a yes, then.”<br/>
They keep going forward, Evan still clinging onto Connor’s arm. When they reach the end, Evan lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.<br/>
“That was fun, wasn’t it?”<br/>
“I think we have different ideas of what fun is.”<br/>
“Come on Ev, it wasn’t too scary.”<br/>
“No, I think it was.”<br/>
Evan was grinning despite himself. It was fun, just not in the way he expected. He doesn’t let go of Connor’s arm. Connor is still smiling, Evan doesn’t remember ever seeing him smile at school, it's a nice change.<br/>
“You want to get some food?”<br/>
“Sure, any ideas?”<br/>
“How about you decide?”<br/>
“Okay”<br/>
-<br/>
Zoe knocks on the doorframe of Connor’s room, he glares at her.<br/>
“You never knock, why start now? It’s not even like I have a door.”<br/>
Zoe scoffs<br/>
“Oh, fuck off, I was just gonna ask what you were doing with Evan earlier.”<br/>
“None of your business.”<br/>
Zoe shakes her head.<br/>
“Well don’t forget about Mom and Dad’s halloween party tonight”<br/>
“I’m not going”<br/>
“I invited Evan.”<br/>
Connor flips her off and turns back around. Zoe sighs and leans on the wall.<br/>
“You like him, don’t you?”<br/>
“Well duh, we wouldn’t be friends if I didn’t”<br/>
“You know what I mean, Connor.”<br/>
“Shut up.”<br/>
-<br/>
Evan sits on the couch, the tv is already on, is Heidi home?<br/>
“Mom?”<br/>
A voice sounds from upstairs.<br/>
“Yes, Evan?”<br/>
“Oh, nothing, I was just wondering if you were home.”<br/>
“Okay, just tell me if you need anything, I’m home for the rest of the day.”<br/>
“Okay, thanks.”<br/>
He leans back on the couch, hardly paying attention to the show, more thinking about this morning. They were in the haunted house for nearly an hour, it was way bigger than he thought it would be. He never would have gone if Connor hadn’t convinced him. He was holding Connor’s arm the whole time. He buries his face in his arms, bright red. He hopes Connor didn’t think that was weird. He’s gonna have to talk to Jared sometime, too.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks again for reading, and any suggestions are appreciated and considered! Another Halloween chapter will be next week!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Spooky scary skeletons~ Pt.2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Two bros chillin' in the same bed, five inches apart cuz they're maybe gay.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is twice as long bc I was super caffeinated on wednesday and wrote this also I cried while writing.</p>
<p>Enjoy?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Evan knocks on the door of the Murphys house, the door opens almost instantly. Cynthia grins at him from the other side of the doorway.<br/>
“Hello, Evan! I’m so glad you could come!”<br/>
“Uh, thanks.”<br/>
“Come in, we have snacks and drinks in the kitchen!”<br/>
“Thank you, that’s really nice. Uh, where’s Connor?”<br/>
“He’s probably in his room, you two have fun!”<br/>
“Thanks, Mrs. Murphy.”<br/>
“You know you can call me Cynthia, right?”<br/>
Evan nods and heads down to Connor’s room, where he finds him sitting on his bed, facing away from the door. He knocks on the doorframe, Connor doesn't move. Evan notices he has headphones on, no wonder he can’t hear him.<br/>
“Connor?”<br/>
Connor whips around and clutches his chest.<br/>
“Holy shit Ev, you scared the life out of me.”<br/>
Evan giggles.<br/>
“Sorry, kind of. Zoe invited me here and I came but now I don’t know what to do.”<br/>
Connor sets down his headphones and  stands up.<br/>
"How did Zoe even get your number?"<br/>
"I have no idea, what do you want to do?"<br/>
Evan cringes at him dismissing Connor so quickly, but he can't really say anything without sounding weird. He's relieved when Connor replies.<br/>
“How about we steal some cake?”<br/>
“I don’t think it’s stealing if it’s free.”<br/>
“Oh, well, I guess we have to get some now.”<br/>
Evan shakes his head but is smiling anyway, he follows Connor to the kitchen. Connor sees his mother and tugs on Evan's sleeve and points in the other direction. He nods, not saying anything, Connor keeps holding Evan's sleeve and they enter the kitchen, Ignoring the look Zoe gives them as they pass. There is a large selection of halloween themed treats, there are several kinds of cakes and cookies with fake spiderwebs and candy bones on them. Connor cuts a large chunk out of a chocolate cake. Evan snorts when Connor nearly drops it as he lifts it to a tiny paper plate.<br/>
"How is that tiny plate gonna hold that?"<br/>
"you can help me cut it down to size."<br/>
Evan giggles and nods.<br/>
"Don't know how much I can help with that, I ate before I came."<br/>
Connor shakes his head sadly, feigning dissapointment.<br/>
"Well then I guess I have to eat this all by myself. C'mon, let's go hide from my family." They go out to the backyard and Connor flops down on the well manicured lawn, careful to not drop the cake. Evan sits down next to him, instantly regretting not bringing something warm to wear. Connor hands him a fork and holds the cake out to him. He takes a small bite, it's really rich, it's clear it isn't store-bought. He wonders if somebody brought it or if Cynthia made it, probably the latter, she seems to like to go a bit overboard.<br/>
"This is really good!"<br/>
"Feed it to me."<br/>
"What?"<br/>
"I don't have any hands."<br/>
"There's only one fork."<br/>
"You aren't sick, boys don't have cooties, only girls do, it's fine."<br/>
Evan rolls his eyes.<br/>
"Fine, but only because I'm not going back inside to get another."<br/>
He gets a decent sized chunk of cake on the fork and gives it to Connor. He mumbles something behind all of the cake in his mouth, Evan smiles and eats another bite of cake. Connor finally finishes his mouthful and sits up.<br/>
"That is really good!"<br/>
"Told you!"<br/>
Connor looks around as if he would rather be somewhere else.<br/>
"Oh, yeah, uh, thanks for not asking about anything when we went to the orchard the other day."<br/>
Evan smiles and sets down the plate, hoping it doesn't fall over.<br/>
"It's what I'd want somebody else to do to me."<br/>
"It's just, it's nice not being defined by my flaws, it's nice feeling just like a human, not like I'm broken."<br/>
"I know what you mean, Jared never leaves me alone about it."<br/>
"He sounds like a dick"<br/>
"I never really had much of a choice, we're family friends, and he reminds me regularly."<br/>
"Yeah, definitely a dick"<br/>
"Who's a dick?"<br/>
Evan looks up to see Jared leaning on the sliding glass door. Connor gives Evan a bemused look, then turns back to Jared.<br/>
"You."<br/>
"Well, I disagree, I think I'm a perfect human being and neither of you could ever compare to me, if you want me to be honest."<br/>
Connor shakes his head and turns to Evan.<br/>
"You deal with his shit every day?"<br/>
Evan nods sadly. Jared makes an offended noise but quickly goes back to grinning devilishly.<br/>
"So Evan, how come you're hanging out with your boyfriend and not me? I'm completely and utterly betrayed."<br/>
He says this in such a deadpan voice that Evan struggles to believe him, which is probably for the best.<br/>
"He’s not, we're not- he's not my boyfriend."<br/>
"Hmm, you would be a cute couple, though, such a waste."<br/>
Evan blushes furiously, he's glad that Jared isn't looking at him anymore, he's looking at Connor for a reaction. Connor sits there still, stone-faced.<br/>
"That's your idea of a joke? It's not even that funny."<br/>
Jared shakes his head and walks back inside, Connor laying back down as he does so.<br/>
"You know, you're the only person that willingly talks to him at school, he should really treat you better than that. You know?"<br/>
Evan nods, still with a hint of red on his cheeks.<br/>
"I've never really talked to him about it, I was just worried he'd make fun of me or something, it's probably stupid. Sorry, I don't need to dump all this stuff on you, sorry."<br/>
Connor puts a hand on Evan's knee, then quickly takes it away when he realizes what he's doing.<br/>
"It's fine, you're fine,  everybody is going through something, it's our job to listen. It feels better to get it off your chest, right?"<br/>
"Yeah, I guess, thanks for just being my friend."<br/>
"Thanks for being mine."<br/>
-<br/>
After staying at the party for way longer than he intended, Evan remembered that he doesn't have a way home. He almost doesn't want to wake Connor up, he looks so peaceful. The darker haired boy is laying his head on Evan's lap, the cake sitting next to them, long abandoned. Evan is almost asleep himself, so he decides to wake Connor up before he falls asleep outside and gets frostbite or whatever it is. He taps Connor on the shoulder. Connor yawns and opens his eyes, propped up on his elbow.<br/>
"Sup, Ev?"<br/>
Evan rolls his eyes.<br/>
"You've been sleeping on my lap for nearly an hour, don't even try."<br/>
Connor smiles and sits all the way up.<br/>
"Really, what's up?"<br/>
"Since my mom drove me here and I don't have a way home, could you drive me back?"<br/>
Connor thinks for a moment, then smiles again as if he has an idea.<br/>
"How about you just stay the night? Way more fun!"<br/>
"Uh, I don't really have anything to sleep in."<br/>
Connor waves his hand.<br/>
"You can just borrow one of my shirts."<br/>
Evan flushes, then nods.<br/>
"Uh, okay then."<br/>
Connor nods and they both stand up, and head back inside. When they get back inside, there is nearly no one left at the party. As they start walking down to Connor’s room, Connor shoots a glare at Zoe. He mouths 'don’t'. When Evan walks through the door, he shivers. Honestly, what did he expect with Connor’s room basically being in the basement. Connor sees him shiver and tosses him a sweatshirt from the end of his bed. He puts it on quickly and sees that it is a bit baggy, in the way that it's too long on the sleeves and the waist. Connor snickers and Evan shoots him a glare, he can't even see his hands.<br/>
"This is huge on me,"
Connor snickers.
"It makes you look cute."<br/>
Connor instantly realizes what he said and turns back around to face his bed, acting as if he hadn't already made it this morning. Evan reddens and turns away as well. Connor finally realizes he's doing no good fixing his bed, as it was already fine before, and stops.<br/>
"Uh, do you want the bed, or the couch?"<br/>
Evan looks over to the couch, it's an old futon, with what looks to be a very squashed mattress and worn down armrests, not an appealing choice.<br/>
"Uh, I'll take the bed, if you're okay with that?"<br/>
"Yeah, no problem, i usually end up on the floor anyway."<br/>
Evan nods, smiling lightly. It's not nearly as cold as he thought. He reaches up and touches his cheek, it's hot, oh, shit.<br/>
-<br/>
Connor wakes up to a muffled sob coming from the other side of the room, he turns towards the bed, where Evan is sleeping. He quietly gets up and walks over to the bed. Connor sits down and Evan reaches over and grabs his hand.<br/>
"Connor?"<br/>
"Yeah, Ev, it's me."<br/>
Evan pulls Connor down and hugs him tightly. Connor hears wet sniffling and he strokes Evan's hair gently.<br/>
"You wanna talk?"<br/>
Evan nods.<br/>
"Okay, just tell me what you need to."<br/>
"I had a dream, it was, uh, about my dad."<br/>
Connor nods, letting Evan talk, so he doesn't feel like he's being pressured.<br/>
"It was the day he left, Mom didn't want me to go outside. But I did."<br/>
He hugs Connor tighter by the waist, laying his head in his lap.<br/>
"There was this big truck, a moving truck."<br/>
He sniffles.<br/>
"In real life, he let me sit in the front seat and honk the horn, but in the dream, he, uh, he-"<br/>
He's cut off by more soft sobbing, Connor continues stroking his hair, it seems to help a little bit.<br/>
"But, in the dream, he, uh, he hit me, and he told me, he said, he told me that I was the reason he left. He told me I was a freak."<br/>
He whimpers as tears roll down his cheeks. He sits up and wipes his eyes, still hugging Connor.<br/>
"He told me,uh, that I should've climbed higher."<br/>
Evan removes his arms from Connor's waist only to wrap them around Connor's shoulders. Connor hugs him back, letting Evan dig his chin into his shoulder.<br/>
"I should've climbed higher."<br/>
Connor is confused until he continues.<br/>
"I, I told everybody that I fell, but, uh, but I let go"<br/>
Connor starts rubbing Evan's back, now knowing what he meant.<br/>
"It's okay, Ev, I tried to let go too."<br/>
He whimpers again and digs his face into the folds of Connor’s sweatshirt.<br/>
"Do you want to go back to sleep now?"<br/>
Evan nods and Connor starts to stand up to go back to the couch. Evan grabs his hand and looks up at him with pleading eyes.<br/>
"Wait, please don't leave."<br/>
Connor nods and lays down next to Evan, wrapping his arms around him. He would do anything for this boy.<br/>
-<br/>
When Connor wakes up in the morning, Evan is gone. He doesn't bother combing his hair and walks to the kitchen. Evan and Zoe are sitting at the table, talking. Connor yawns and brushes his hair out of his face.<br/>
"Good morning"<br/>
Zoe gives him a look<br/>
"Connor, it's noon."<br/>
He glances over to the clock.<br/>
"So it is. That's fun."<br/>
Evan laughs, standing up to walk over to Connor.<br/>
"Do you usually sleep this late?"<br/>
He shrugs, Ignoring the tugging feeling in his chest when Evan sets a hand on his arm. Smiling, he replies.<br/>
"I don't usually have Zoe to tell me what time it is, but probably."<br/>
"Are you gonna eat anything?"<br/>
Connor shakes his head, and Evan looks mildly concerned.<br/>
"I'll be fine, Ev. We should probably get you home anyway, we can stop at Mcdonalds or something on the way."<br/>
Evan nods, seemingly satisfied. Zoe raises her eyebrows and gives Connor a look. She needs to let it go. As they drive to Evan's house, Connor can't help but think how much life has gotten better since they met.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Love you guys! You have no idea how much you guys commenting and leaving kudos means to me!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. A familiar face</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Evan wakes up to find someone not at all welcome in his living room</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Evan wakes up to Heidi calling him downstairs, which is unusual,  as she usually has a shift that starts right before he wakes up. The only exception was on the first day of school, when she called in late so she could drive him to school. He gets out of bed, confused, and walks down the stairs to the kitchen, still in his pyjamas. He stops in his tracks when he sees a face that is familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time sitting on the couch. Mark Hansen, Evan's father, is sitting on the couch, holding a cup of coffee. Evan clears his throat, and Mark looks at him. It feels strange calling him Mark, but he isn't a father to Evan, he hasn't been since he was seven.<br/>"Uh, what are you doing here?"<br/>Mark smiles, seemingly friendly, but it's the same fake sort of smile that Heidi puts on when she needs to look happy for Evan.<br/>"I'm here to see you!"<br/>Mark stands up and spreads his arms to give Evan a hug. But Evan backs up, stepping onto the stairs, hugging his arms to his chest.<br/>"S-sorry, just I, uh, don't really feel like it right now."<br/>Mark nods, not pushing, which is nice, but Evan feels like he's being treated like a fragile doll, like if he makes a wrong move, he'll break.<br/>"So, how's school? Your mother said you're graduating this year!"<br/>"Oh, yeah, uh, it's okay, I made a few friends this year, which is better than just Jared, I guess."<br/>Mark smiles, that fake smile again, like there's something wrong with him, and he doesn't want him to know.<br/>"That's great, Evan! How would you like to join me for lunch today?"<br/>"Uh, sure? I don't usually have lunch with anyone anyway."<br/>Mark puts his hands together.<br/>"Then it's settled! I'll pick you up at your lunch hour! Then we can decide what we want to get."<br/>Evan nods, forcing a smile. Not knowing what to make of his father suddenly showing up after eleven years, just to say hi? It could happen, but he must want something.<br/>"I'll drive you to school,"<br/>"Uh, thanks"<br/>Another forced smile from Evan, and they're off.<br/>-<br/>Connor is leaning on Evan's locker, waiting for him, when the warning bell rings. He starts walking to his first class when he bumps into Zoe.<br/>"Have you seen Evan?"<br/>Zoe cocks her head, confused.<br/>"No, why?"<br/>"I haven't seen him at all this morning, usually he gets here before we do."<br/>Zoe scrunches her eyebrows together, it's the same look that she gives when she's worried, usually about Connor.<br/>"I'll text him during first period."<br/>"How did you get his number, anyway?"<br/>She shrugs.<br/>"I asked Alana Beck, I'm pretty sure she knows everyone in your grade.:<br/>Connor nods, and Zoe starts walking in the opposite direction. All through first period, he was worried about Evan, he didn't even fall asleep. After class, he was waiting at Zoe's locker, he knows that she goes to grab her instrument, whatever it is, before band. Zoe walks up to him, and looks down at his hands, which were currently wringing the hem of his sweatshirt. She gives him a sort of pitying look. <br/>"You're really worried about him, aren't you?"<br/>Connor gives her a death glare.<br/>"What does it look like?"<br/>She shrugs and shows him her phone screen.<br/>"He says he's with his dad, aren't his parents divorced?"<br/>Connor nods, pulling out his own phone. His sleeve slips down and he sees something written in black gel pen, he'll look at it later. He texts a quick message to Evan.</p>
<p>'Where are you? Who are you with? You scared me'</p>
<p>He turns his phone off, but not all the way, like usual, so he still can get the notification. He looks at Zoe with pleading eyes.<br/>"Please tell me whatever he sends you."<br/>Zoe nods, not knowing just how much he's worrying about Evan. He looks so hurt and worried. She's never seen him like this before.<br/>"Only if you can forget about it for a bit and pay attention."<br/>Connor nods, not even bothering to argue about not paying attention anyway or something like that.<br/>-<br/>Evan sits at a diner table, across from his father. He doesn't know what the name of the place is, he just knows that it sells sandwiches. Mark made him order his own sandwich, which was a long and probably annoying experience for the people who work there. But at least the sandwich was good, they messed up his order, but he said it was fine so that he wouldn't bother them at all. Mark seems like he's really trying to be good, but he still seems off, somehow.<br/>"So, how was your Halloween?"<br/>Evan snaps out of his trance.<br/>"Oh, uh, it was good, I hung out with my friend, Connor."<br/>"Is he nice?"<br/>This is basically the same thing that his mother asked him when he told her he had a friend, just much less enthusiastic.<br/>"Yeah, he's, uh, really nice."<br/>Mark nods, still smiling that fake smile.<br/>"Do you have a soulmate?" Mark is obviously attempting to start a conversation, but Evan doesn’t have the heart to talk about this to the person who he trusts the least, simply nods, deciding that he's not gonna tell him who he thinks it is.<br/>"Yeah, I just, uh, don't know who it is."<br/>Mark looks at the clock on the wall, it's nearly third period.<br/>"Well, we should get you to school, I don't think your mother would appreciate getting a call from school."<br/>Evan nods, staring at his hands.<br/>"Here, I'll give you my number, so we can talk after I get back home."<br/>He produces a black gel pen from his pocket, and writes a phone number on Evan's arm.<br/>"Well, we should get going, right?"<br/>-<br/>Walking through the hallway, there is a wide berth around Connor. People are scared of him, he hasn't even done anything. Except that one time when he threw a printer at his teacher in elementary school, but that was once! Connor was waiting at Evan's locker again, hoping he would be there, it was almost lunch period. He looks at the black ink on his wrist, it's a phone number. He stares at it for who knows how long when he hears a voice that snaps him out of his trance.<br/>"Connor?"<br/>Connor turns to the source of the sound and sees Evan. The anxiety immediately melts away when he sees his face.<br/>"Ev, where were you?"<br/>Evan looks down and starts twisting the hem of his shirt between his fingers.<br/>"I was, uh, with my dad."<br/>Connor opens his mouth to say something, but is cut off by Zoe pushing him out of the way.<br/>"He was totally freaked out earlier, it was as if you were missing or something"<br/>Connor blushes and looks anywhere but Evan. Evan hides a smile behind his hand, and sees the number written on his own wrist. He wonders if there is a matching one on Connor’s wrist.<br/>"Sorry, I should've told you guys, he said he would drive me to school and we got distracted, sorry."<br/>Connor shakes his head.<br/>"You don't have to be sorry, he's your dad, you deserve to hang out with him, even though he left you for however long."<br/>Connor says this with a smile, though he is visibly uncomfortable with Evan's situation.<br/>"How come he just shows up out of nowhere after eleven years? He must want something from you, why else would he come here?"<br/>Zoe smacks the back of his head and he glares at her. Evan shrugs.<br/>"I thought, maybe, he just wanted to see me? But I guess it makes more sense that way."<br/>Connor shrugs , trying not to break Evan's image of his father.<br/>"Do you want to hang out after school?"<br/>"Uh, actually, my dad wanted to, uh, bring me to dinner tonight."<br/>"Oh, yeah, okay, maybe tomorrow?"<br/>"Yeah, maybe."<br/>Connor nods and walks away, is Evan getting bored with him? Was he trying to get out of hanging out with him? Was Connor being too clingy? He's never had a friend like this before, maybe he's overdoing it? Maybe Evan wants his help but can’t bring himself to ask ? What if it’s about his dad ?<br/>Speaking of Evan’s dad, Connor can’t help but think that something is up.<br/>He doesn’t know much about the man because the blond boy refuses to talk about him too much, aside from the nightmare, but as far as he knows, this man shouldn’t be near anyone as sweet as Evan.<br/>“Wait, this is starting to sound like more than just friends, what if-” Connor cuts himself off right there. He can’t go around imagining things that are most definitely not true.<br/>Evan would never be attracted to someone like him. And if he was, he would be really unlucky.<br/>-<br/>Evan walks at a rapid past, wanting to avoid the gaze of others.<br/>Connor talking about how maybe his dad needed something from him really made him start thinking.<br/>“What could he possibly want from me? <br/>And more importantly, why would he want anything to do with me? <br/>What if all he wanted to do was to come and wreck my life just when things were starting to look up for me? <br/>What if he came back just to hurt mom again?<br/>Does mom even still have feelings for Mar- I mean, dad ?”<br/>Evan takes a deep breath, and as he exhales, he imagines all his worries leaving his mind.<br/>It was a trick Dr Sherman had taught him, and even though the tricks his therapist gave him didn’t always seem to work, right now he was willing to try just about anything.<br/>He continues walking, exhaling everytime his left foot hits the ground, concentrating on the timing of his breath, when suddenly everything but the constant noise seems to come to a halt. <br/>The people around him have all stopped walking and are staring at something to Evans right.<br/>He can’t seem to hear what anyone is saying, the sound seems as distant to Evan as the moon. His vision starts to blur and his lungs seem to have shrunk.<br/>Why now? Of all times for a panic attack why now?<br/>Evan tries pressing through the crowd but more people seem to have gathered around that one spot. He can’t make out what anyone is saying, but they all seem either scared or mad.<br/>He feels like his brain is lacking oxygen and starts rushing to the bathroom. He bumps into a few people, which does anything but help his growing panic attack. <br/>Since he can’t hear anything else, he concentrates on the sound of his rapid breathing, trying to no avail to slow it down as he directs himself to the boys bathroom.<br/>He opens the door and quickly rushes inside, shutting the door behind him. <br/>He runs into the nearest stall, not caring if anyone hears him. He sits down on the floor and puts his head in his hands. "Deep breath in, deep breath out" he remembers what Dr. Sherman told him, think about anything other than the panic attack, think about something that makes you happy, or your surroundings. He can't think of anything, but his mind eventually drifts to Connor. His dark brown hair, his almost blue eyes, with just the tiniest bit of brown in them, his chipped black nail polish. His breathing starts to even out. "Maybe Connor’s right, there really isn't any reason for Dad to just come back all of the sudden. He must want something."<br/>As Evan continues to think about his father, and all the ways he treated him badly, someone enters the stall.<br/>Evan jumps back ever so slightly as someone bangs a stall door shut.<br/>He secretly hopes that it’s Connor, but doesn’t dare ask, because what if it wasn’t ? What if it was one of those horrible bullies like Karofsky or Azimio ? What if somebody was looking for him ? <br/>“Wait- scratch that last one off the list, why would anyone look for me”<br/>Evan’s train of thought was brutally stopped when he hears a familiar voice roughly whisper something.<br/>“ Evan freaking Hansen thinks that now that he has new friends, he can just leave me behind. ”<br/>Evan freezes even more at the sound of his name. He knows exactly who is talking, and starts to feel numb inside at the thought of being hated by the only person who used to care for him.<br/>“Jare- umm, is that you Jared ? ” asks Evan, the doubt and fear making his voice falter.<br/>“Well, look who it is, the acorn himself! ” Jared responds, getting up from where he’s sitting and starts walking over to the stall with his past family friend in it.<br/>Evan stands up and opens the door, now finding himself face to face with Jared Kleinman. <br/>It might just be the lighting of this disgusting bathroom, but he’s sure that the boys eyes are red and puffy, he feels something in those eyes. It’s very hard to describe but it resembles a dam that finally broke. As if all the water that had been beating up against the walls had finally been freed, and was now coursing through his body, fueling him, fueling his anger. Making him want to burn down everything, but most importantly, himself. <br/>Evan knew those eyes. <br/>He used to have the same ones.<br/>-<br/>Zoe is walking through the hallway, trying to get away from the crowd growing around her brothers locker, when she hears a small but confident and beautiful voice coming from one of the classrooms.<br/>The day is almost over, why would there be anyone in there ?<br/>Zoe walks over cautiously, as to not startle the person singing. <br/>It’s a girl, who is singing, and Zoe approaches and puts gear against the door. The girl seems to be singing without any background music, but her voice sweet is enough to make Zoe’s insides turn to honey.</p>
<p>I think it’s only fair<br/>There’s gotta be some butterflies somewhere<br/>I know you know that I like you <br/>But that’s not enough <br/>So if you will please fall in love </p>
<p>Zoe continues listening even though the girl seems to be finished singing.<br/>“That was one of the most beautiful voices I have ever heard”<br/>She quickly opens the door, not caring if the girl hears her.<br/>It’s Alana Beck. She is sitting at a desk, seemingly doing homework with headphones on.<br/>She looks up, and as soon as she realizes that she is being watched, she quickly stands up.<br/>“ I’m sorry can I help you ?” She asks, her shaky voice betraying her confident stance.<br/>“ Well I heard you singing and I just have to say that you not only have great music taste, but you also have a beautiful voice.” responds Zoe, hoping to not come off as rude to her friend? acquaintance ? buddy ? person that she knows? <br/>“Oh, well thanks I guess. ”  says Alana, clearly wary of the girl's response.<br/> She looks as if she’s thinking for a moment, then remembers whatever it was.<br/>“You’re Connor’s sister? Zoe, right?”<br/>She sighs, of course, everything she does just circles back around to Connor.<br/>"Yeah, what about it?"<br/>"I needed to give him our english teacher's office number, will you give it to him?"<br/>"Yeah, just write it on the back of my hand."<br/>Zoe holds out her hand to Alana. Alana opens a sharpie and begins to write a 5 on her hand. Zoe gasps when she sees black ink forming on the back of Alana's hand, but keeps quiet.<br/>How could Alana be her soulmate ? <br/>She barely knows her !<br/>Well, that is kind of the point of soulmates but this still was uncalled for on Zoe’s side.<br/>“Um hey, would you like to come over after band practice tomorrow ? I mean only if you want to.”<br/>“Oh, you mean, come over, like come over to your house ? Um sure ! Here’s my number, text me the address !”<br/>Alana quickly writes her number on Zoe’s hand and rushes out of the classroom with a light blush coating her face.<br/>“Well,” thinks Zoe “ maybe this day wasn’t so bad after all.”<br/>-<br/>Jared looks Evan up and down with pain disguised as disgust in his eyes.<br/>“Well, you still look like a complete nerd even though you have a boyfriend.”he sneers.<br/>“Jared, I already told you that- Jared Connor isn’t my boyfriend.”<br/>“Well whatever he is, he sure is a lot better than me !” he says, faking the happiness in his voice.<br/>Evan walks out of the stall and goes up to the sink, avoiding his former friend’s eye.<br/>“What’s wrong Evan, you aren’t even denying that what I’m saying is true !”<br/>The blonde boy still says nothing, his eyes glued to a certain spot on the floor.<br/>“Well you‘ve always been like this, silent, annoying and really dumb looking. The worst part is that you know that what I’m saying is true !” Jared’s voice cracks ever so slightly, and for just a second, Evan can see the pain.<br/>“And it’s not like your new friend is some amazing person, if it was I would understand why you would leave me! But no! It’s that dumb freak Connor Murphy ! Did he force you to hang out with him or something ?”<br/>That’s when Evan reacts. He looks deep into Jared’s scarred eyes, as if searching for something in them.<br/>“Why do you act like this, Jared? You say that I’m the one who abandoned you, well our whole childhood you treated me like some kind of disease, like a neighbor's dog you’re getting paid to take care of. Well not anymore, ok ? I’ve finally found a true friend who actually wants to know me ! He is not dumb, and especially not a freak. I’m tired of your insults, so just stop talking to me.”<br/>Evan then hurried out of the bathroom, shocked that he even said that.<br/>-<br/>After school, looking through the texts he sent to Evan during class, Connor realizes how clingy and possessive he sounded. He cringes and thinks that maybe that's why Evan was so quick to dismiss the idea. He starts to type out an apology when he gets a text from Evan.</p>
<p>Where are you? Can I come over?</p>
<p>"Oh, he wasn't trying to avoid me?" He realizes that Evan's dad probably did want to see him for dinner, he suddenly feels selfish for thinking that it was just that Evan didn't want to see him. He quickly types a reply.</p>
<p>yeah you can come over. im just at my house.</p>
<p>No more than 15 minutes later, he sees Evan run up to the door. He rushes upstairs to greet him. He opens the door and sees Evan, but not like he knows him, this Evan is seething with hatred. His eyes are puffy and red and there are red lines on his face from crying, but the look of anger on Evan's face is unmistakable. Evan takes a shaky breath.<br/>"Can I stay here tonight?"<br/>“Oh um of course ! Is something wrong?” <br/>The worry in Connors’ voice is clear. <br/>“I don’t really want to talk about it.”<br/>Connor takes Evan’s bag and both boys walk in the house.<br/>Connor understands not wanting to talk about your feelings, but he also knows that if you don’t, things usually get worse. He ultimately decides that he will ask again later, when Evan is clearly calmer.<br/>Connor takes Evan’s hand and leads him upstairs. He whispers to the beautiful boy beside him that he knows where they can go.<br/>They arrive in front of a door that Evan has never seen open.<br/>“Where are we going ?” he asks, his voice laced with curiosity.<br/>“You’ll see.” answers Connor, a mischievous grin dancing on his lips. Evan stares at Connor, zoning out for a second. <br/>“Umm Ev? You ok ?Don’t worry, we are not gonna do anything dangerous! If this makes you feel uncomfortable we can just go chill in my room ! ”<br/>“What ? Oh no don’t worry I’m fine!” <br/>A small endeared smile starts forming on Evan’s chapped lips. <br/>Connor opens the door, and to Evan’s surprise, it’s a room. Just a plain room with purple walls and a big bed. It’s probably Zoe’s judging by the fact that a ukulele is hanging above the bed, and sheet music and magazines are sprawled all over the floor.<br/>There was a pretty big window about two feet from the ground on one side and on the other there was a shelf filled with books and succulents.<br/>“Welcome to Zoe’s room !” says Connor, proud of himself.<br/>“Uh, Connor, what are we gonna do in Zoe’s room ?”<br/>“Nothing ! We’re just gonna use her window !”<br/>Connor walks over to the window and opens it widely enough for both of them to go through. Evan clambers through the wide window clumsily, nearly falling in the process. Connor sits down on the flat part of the roof, patting the spot next to him. Evan sits down next to him, leaning his head on Connor’s shoulder. As Evan slowly drifts off, Connor can't help but think how he could really get used to this.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hate this as much as you do but ~Character Development~</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Some things can't be fixed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hshgsgshdhsgsg this makes he angry but it's necessary</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Connor! Get down from there!"<br/>Evan snaps awake, remembering he's on the roof of Connor's house. It's dark, how long have they been up there? Zoe stands on the lawn, glaring up at them<br/>"Did you climb through my window again?" <br/>Connor snickers.<br/>"No, I have no idea what you mean."<br/>Zoe gives him a withering glare.<br/>"I don't believe you."<br/>Connor shrugs, he grabs Evans hand and brings him through Zoe's window, ignoring her when she starts yelling. The two of them run down the hallway and get in Connor's car. Pulling out of the driveway, Connor turns to Evan.<br/>"Where do you want to go?"<br/>Evan shrugs.<br/>"The orchard? I don't know, it's up to you."<br/>Connor nods, turning on the radio.<br/>-<br/>Laying on the deceptively soft, yellow grass. The two boys had been there for the better part of an hour, in a comfortable silence. Connor was the first one to break the silence.<br/>"You know, there's nowhere else I'd rather be."<br/>"Me too."<br/>Connor smiles contentedly. Evan stands up and grabs Connor’s hand, he can't ignore the feeling that blooms in his chest when he does so. They make their way through the field of yellow flowers, walking slowly. Evan stops in front of a huge tree. He drops Connor's hand to start climbing the tree. Connor stares up at Evan in astonishment, last time he climbed a tree, he freaked out. He starts climbing behind him, slowly at first but getting the hang of it. Evan stops on a branch mid-way up the tree, Connor stops on the same one, sitting next to Evan.<br/>As they stare out at the scenery, everything seems to be perfect. The way the breeze brushes gently against their faces, the air has a smell to it that feels like nature at it’s finest, and simply the fact that they are here together.<br/>An urge comes over Connor and he takes the younger boy's hand.<br/>Evan turns his face ever so slightly to look at him, and when their eyes meet, sparks seem to fly.<br/>“Connor, I need to tell you someth-” he gets cut off with the brunette’s lips crashing into his. For a second, Evan’s mind doesn’t seem to know how to respond, but as soon as he realizes that Connor Murphy is kissing him, he presses closer and smiles into the kiss. The other boys lips are rough and calloused, and taste a bit like cigarette smoke. The kiss is far from perfect, but is still full of feelings and passion. It feels like something clicks into place, like the hole in Connor's heart is filled for the first time ever. He feels complete for once.<br/>The kiss ends, and both boys feel like their entire world has changed.<br/>As they look into each other’s eyes, they know it’s not just a feeling, but a fact.<br/>-<br/>The whole mood changed after they got back in Connor's car. They had been there for more than 4 hours, a deafening silence filing the air, and it was getting dark. As they were driving down the street, back to Evan's house, the air was heavy. Neither of them knew what to do after. Evan had been wringing the hem of his shirt between his fingers for most of the drive. Connor glaces over to him and places a hand on Evan's, stopping him from stretching out his shirt.<br/>"What are we gonna do?"<br/>"First, I think we should just try to figure stuff out."<br/>Evan nods, not knowing what else to say, he is spared from replying when Connor continues.<br/>"How long have you known?"<br/>"Known that we were soulmates? A long time, I was just too scared to say."<br/>“Why would you be scared to tell me? ” responds Connor, eyeing the road with a certain level of confusion in his eyes.<br/>“I wasn’t sure that  you wanted it to be me. ” Evan’s eyes betray him once again as they seem to be frantically searching for any signs of hurt on Connor’s face.<br/>Connor snorts and laughs a bit too loud for it to be natural.<br/>“Why would I not want it to be you ? You are the one good thing that ever happened to me, and all I wanted was for it to be you. ”<br/>Evan blushes at the statement and opens his mouth, searching for something to say.<br/>"I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you couldn't tell me"<br/>Evan smiles contentedly, this is nice.<br/>-<br/>"Does your mom have any nail polish?"<br/>Evan looks up at Connor, he must've fallen asleep while they were talking on the couch.<br/>"Yeah, I'll go grab some, what color do you want?"<br/>"Can you just grab a bunch? I don't know what colors she has."<br/>Evan nods and gets up to leave, returning a few minutes later with around 4 colors.<br/>"This is all she has, she usually sticks to one color for a while."<br/>"Thanks."<br/>He presses a quick kiss to Evan's cheek, smiling when his face goes red. He picks the brightest color, yellow, and holds it up for Evan to see.<br/>"Can I paint your nails?"<br/>Evan smiles, thinking about it for a second.<br/>"Sure, why not?"<br/>Connor grins, Evan thinks maybe he shouldn't have given him this sort of power.<br/>-<br/>After letting them dry, Connor finally lets Evan see them. He groans when Connor moves his hands, yellow with hot pink polka dots.<br/>"I hope you like it, I picked the most obnoxious colors just for you."<br/>"Yeah, I don't know if I can thank you for this."<br/>Connor snorts and Evan starts laughing with him. The laughing turns into full on crying tears of joy. The boys can barely even remember what is so funny but it feels good to laugh, to smile, to just feel.<br/>As the quiet starts taking over again, both boys smiling as if they’d just won the lottery, a sort of darkness seems to surround them.<br/>It’s not the darkness that Evan is used to. This one feels warm and familiar, as if saying that right now, there’s no one else. Just two boys, who just happen to be soulmates, laughing about the dumbest things. And it feels like home.<br/>-<br/>Connor just left the house, and Evan just stands there in the doorway, a huge dumb grin crowding his face. They had spent about an hour just talking about stuff like Evan’s therapy, Jared being a huge dick and Connor even thinking that Zoe figured who her soulmate is ! But Evan’s favorite part was when Connor would stop talking, look at him for five seconds, then go back to talking. It made him feel special.<br/>He goes into the kitchen, deciding to make some food. Kissing can really work up an appetite !<br/>As he’s softly humming to himself, he hears the sound of the door opening.<br/>“That’s strange,” he thinks, a frown growing on his face, “Mom only gets home in about an hour !”<br/>He looks through the window and sees Mark. He opens the door, still smiling, and greets his father.<br/>"Hi, how was your day?"<br/>Mark doesn't reply, instead looking at Evan's hands.<br/>He hastily hides them from view. Mark's expression quickly turns sour.<br/>"You're one of them, aren't you?"<br/>They could hear a pin drop. Evan's heart practically stopped.<br/>"One of what?"<br/>Marks shoots a glare at him.<br/>"A fag."<br/>Evan starts twisting the hem of his shirt, avoiding eye contact. Mark ignores his silence and continues talking.<br/>"You know, I came back to spend time with my son, just to find out he's a fag, and I bet it's your mother's fault too."<br/>Evan could hear his heart pumping in his head, what right does he have to say who his son loves?<br/>"And what if I am? What does it matter to you who I like?"<br/>“Well it matters to me because I can’t go around having a fag for a son !”<br/>“Did you think I chose to be this way?!” asks Evan, practically screaming, his eyes filled with hurt and fury “It’s not like I can change !”<br/>“WELL THEN I GUESS YOU JUST CAN’T BE MY SON ANYMORE!”<br/>Evan’s eyes widen as tears of anger and brutal, harsh pain.<br/>“Get out.”<br/>Both Evan and Mark turn in surprise. They see Heidi standing in the doorway of the kitchen, her eyes filled to the brim with pure unfiltered hatred.<br/>“Heidi I-”<br/>“Get out of my house Mark. I don’t want you anywhere near me or my son ever again. ”<br/>Mark walks out, obviously disgruntled. As Evan hears the front door slam shut, he exhales a long, shaky breath. He turns to look at his mother and as soon as their eyes meet, he breaks down and slumps onto the floor. As soon as the sobs start coming in, Heidi rushes to the floor and puts her arms around her son, holding him tight and pressing their foreheads together.<br/>“It’s ok. It’s going to be ok. I promise.” Evan’s sobs get louder and he holds on even tighter to his mother.<br/>“I’m so sorry-”<br/>“Don’t you dare apologize Evan, you have done nothing wrong. Do you hear me?”<br/>Evan simply nods, tears still streaming down his face.<br/>And they just stay there, arms around each other, whispering words of comfort.<br/>And everything’s ok.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Im planning on finishing it at 10 chapters but i might have to stretch it, comment are appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. All Good Things Must Come To An End</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Last chapter! This was a journey that I'm so glad you guys were a part of!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>THE SUMMER AFTER GRADUATION</p>
<p>As Connor walks down the familiar path to Evan’s house, he can’t help but feel a bit nervous. Not because he has any actual reasons to be nervous, he just feels like this is the end of an era. Graduation sure as hell had felt like everything was ending but here it was more subtle. It was like a small voice in the back of his head whispering “it’s all ending. Both you and Evan are moving. Nothing will ever be the same again.” <br/>The voice is right but that doesn't mean that Connor likes it.<br/>He arrives at Evan’s porch and walks up to the door.<br/>As he takes the key Heidi had passed him out of his pocket, the little voice gets just a bit louder. <br/>“You really think he is still going to care about you after all this ?”<br/>Connor silences the voice and calls out to warn the Hansen’s of his arrival.<br/>Evan comes running down the stairs, an adorable smile growing larger on his face. He wraps his arms around Evan, grinning along with him. Heidi stands at the top of the stairs, smiling down at the two boys. Evan is the first to pull away, he got his cast off a few weeks prior. Evan spent the whole first day without it complaining about the weird tan line he had from it. When he got his cast off, there was a little smiley face drawn underneath with a few letters spelling out "congrats!". Evan lets go of Connor's arms.<br/>"Did you get any letters back?"<br/>Connor nods.<br/>"I got a few, but I'll need to open them first."<br/>"Why don't we do that later?"<br/>Connor presses a quick kiss to Evan's cheek.<br/>"Whatever you want to do."<br/>They both smile, and every problem seems to fade. The nervousness that Connor had felt earlier had not disappeared but felt much less noticeable.<br/>Evan takes his hand and leads him up the stairs. <br/>“Where are we going?” asks the brunette, feigning worry.<br/>“I have a surprise for you.” responds his boyfriend, a small smile dancing in his lips.<br/>Connor wants to kiss that small smile.<br/>So he does.<br/>That’s the upside of having a boyfriend.<br/>You get to kiss him without worrying about whether he likes you back.<br/>Evan laughs and continues leading Connor upstairs.<br/>They continue until they are in front of Evan’s bedroom, and as he slowly opens the door, Connor’s mind is blown.<br/>Every inch of the room is covered in pictures and notes.<br/>As he looks closer at the wall, he realizes that most of the pictures have him in them. They are either pictures that had been taken while hanging out with Alana, Zoe and Jared, or they’re cute pictures that him and Evan took together. He even sees some pictures that he didn’t even know existed. Many of the group ones featured Jared trying to look cool, while both couples smile happily.<br/>Connor walks around the room, taking in every little detail.<br/>He is pretty sure that he has tears running down his cheek, but he doesn’t care.<br/>“What is all this for?” he asks.<br/>“Well, it’s sorta for you ? Us ? I’m not too sure. Zoe told me that you got into Manchester University, and I decided that you need to be congratulated!” responds the blond boy, a proud grin decorating his face. Connor grins and hugs Evan tightly.<br/>"You're amazing."<br/>"I'm pretty sure you're the one who got into a huge college."<br/>Connor could not deny the fact that he was crying now. <br/>"Now I feel embarrassed, I don't have anything to give you."<br/>“You’ve already given me so much Connor. More than you could ever understand.”<br/>The solemn look on Evan’s face makes Connor tear up even more, because even though this gift is amazing, the best gift he has ever received has been Evan. Just Evan. Not his kindness, or his looks ( which Connor must admit make him very weak in the knees.) but just Evan.<br/>“Wait, Evan ? How did Zoe know I got into MU ? I didn’t even know !” asks Connor, perplexed.<br/>Evan looks slightly uncomfortable as he responds.<br/>“Well, Zoe saw that a letter came, and she knew how much you wanted to get into that school, so she decided to take the letter. She thought that that way, if you didn’t get in, she would spare you from being sad, and that if you did get in, we could do this !”<br/>Connor chuckles and says <br/>“I sure do love my sister!”<br/>-<br/>“Zoe I’m pretty sure that’s not what I said.”<br/>“It was fifteen years ago Connor, and I’m pretty sure Evan told me you said that.”<br/>“Nope, never said that.” says Evan, who is cuddling with his daughter Katherine on the couch, as she listens to her aunt tell the story. Her hair is a beautiful gold color and her eyes are dark brown. So dark that they seem black from certain angles.<br/>“Is that a real story Aunty ?” she asks.<br/>“Well of course it is ! I never lie!”<br/>Both Evan and Connor look at each other suspiciously. <br/>Katherine’s eyelids start to droop and she whispers to Evan<br/>“Daddy, are you happy ?”<br/>“Of course I am sweetheart ! I’ve got both you and your father! What more could I ask for !”<br/>Katherine falls asleep, satisfied with her father’s answer, not knowing just how much she is loved.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I love you guys and I'm so grateful of all the kudos I got through all this! I hope you liked it!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! Again, any feedback is greatly appreciated.</p>
<p>I will try to update twice a month, with decent sized chapters!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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